I am a huge advocate of not judging the journey of another and consequently not letting the judgements of others deter you on your own journey. In my next #sallysquote I will be talking about the most controversial decision I have taken lately, my recent dalliance with Botox.
“There is a possibility you’ll develop a slight bruise on your head from the injection, so you’ll have to think of some kind of excuse” said my Doctor. “Or I could just tell the truth” I replied. My Doctor looked surprised.
“We are used to being shrouded in secrecy” he said. “Most people don’t even tell their husbands. In many cases we are under strict instructions NEVER to call home.”
I live in a small town in Dorset where it is not the norm (or so I thought) to get Botox. I had quietly wanted it for about 8 years when I noticed the lines above the bridge of my nose getting more pronounced, so at 38 as my Birthday present to myself I decided to put my fears to one side and bite the bullet.
Going against the grain and facing my fears
Even though I had made the decision that this was what I wanted, I was scared. I didn’t know anyone who had Botox (to my knowledge) who could tell me that it was going to be ok and I had found my doctor using only Google and gut instinct. I was worried I was going to be left expressionless, with a numb face that I couldn’t feel, or worse a botched job or a bad allergy. Deep down I worried that was what I deserved for my vanity. I have seen women on tv getting Botox with no more thought than their morning coffee and heard of Botox parties, I wanted desperately for it to be as much of a non-issue for me.
Botox and insecurity
I told many members of my family before I did it and although they didn’t understand why I wanted it, they were not unsupportive. My mother spoke of putting poisons in my face. In this day and age we use all sorts of “poisons” cosmetically and medicinally, internally and externally but I realise many people use this as an excuse to get on their high horse about Botox.
My eldest son in particular was surprised at my decision saying he didn’t think it aligned with my values. As I talk so much of loving the self he said he hadn’t thought I would be insecure.
To speak to this I want to say that I don’t feel that my desire for Botox was driven by insecurity. If Botox hadn’t existed I would have loved myself and my flaws and got on with living my best life. I am more than my Botox and more than my outward appearance for that matter. Just as makeup exists, Botox exists and it is an option I know is open to me.
I encourage young women to love all of themselves and that includes their genuine dreams and desires. I happened to have a desire to try Botox. I am supportive of women and people in general making their own aligned choices out of those that are open to them. People are free to make and enjoy choices that I wouldn’t make and just because I make a certain choice does not mean that I believe everyone else should make that same decision.
Botox in particular is an acquired taste and something that needs careful consideration. I love the fact that all our journeys are different. It is not always easy to go against the grain but it is always worth it if you are following a genuine desire.If you didn’t know me well you would have no idea I have had Botox. I still have lines on my face and I can still frown but those who know me have said that although they weren’t concerned by my appearance before, they can see how I would be pleased with the results.
The results of my Botox
I am very happy with the results, not despite but because of the fact there is not a dramatic difference. My Doctor was incredible, I didn’t feel a thing getting it done (there was no numbing cream involved) and he didn’t overdo it, giving me just enough for me to feel like I am no longer starting to look stern. Contrary to my own concerns I can still feel my face and move it freely. I would say my face actually feels less tense and more open which actually makes me feel (and look) more awake, an unexpected bonus.
I know Botox is not for everyone but there may be other things that are less conventional that you think will make you happy and (as long as it isn’t hurting anyone) I would encourage you to make the move in that direction.
Whether it’s a college course, a colourful outfit, or Botox, it is up to you to make the choices in life that you know in your heart will make you happy regardless of the opinion of others. Not one person in my life thought I needed, or necessarily should have Botox but I am so happy I did it. It is now a non-issue for me, like I hoped it would be and I won’t bat an eyelid about having it done again (even though I still can!).